The
following article was not created by MateforMe.com and
is not in any way endorsed by MateforMe.com. It is reproduced
here for entertainment purposes only. Please remember
that if you make use of any of the information contained
in this article, you do so at your own risk.
How To Rebuild Your Self-Esteem After A Divorce (by
: Author Unknown)
Your self-esteem - what you think of yourself in relation
to other people - is the basic secret of your success
or failure in life.
It's really as simple as that... Think well of yourself,
and you'll do well. Think disparagingly of yourself, and
you'll probably not do very well at all .
Regardless of whether you're the perpetrator or the victim,
the experience of going through a divorce is going to
damage your self-esteem. In fact, the blow dealt to one's
self-esteem by divorce is lethal enough to drive anyone
to the brink of insanity.
What you must do is think of your divorce - the end of
your marriage - as you would the death of a loved one.
Basically, that's what it is!
There is a period of burial or of letting go; a period
of feeling guilty because you didn't do or say all the
things you might have; a period of anger because it didn't
work out the way you dreamed it would; a period of reconciliation
in which you think maybe if you try again, it'll all work
out; and finally, a period of acceptance.
Everyone who has ever been through a divorce or is still
recovering from one, has either lived through each of
these "recovery stages," or is still in one of them. It's
all normal, and a part of the necessary healing that has
to take place before you are able to recognize and enjoy
happiness again.
Even so, the most important and the very first thing you
must do following the break-up of any kind of relationship,
is to get started on the rebuilding of your self-esteem.
This means that you have to accept the fact that neither
you or anyone else is perfect - determine that you will
learn from your mistakes - and that you will become whatever
it is you aspire to be...
Immediately, do something that makes you feel good - something
you've been wanting to do for some time - or always wanted
to do. This could be getting a new hair-do, buying a new
suit, enrolling in a special self-improvement course,
starting a business, or even taking an extended vacation.
You musn't lock yourself in your house or apartment. You
musn't be afraid to get out and associate with people.
You musn't stop wanting to enjoy life!
You may have to force yourself, but you must "forget"
about mourning your loss and continue on with your life.
You must go on with your life with a stronger determination
than ever, to be the person you want to be. Don't "beat
yourself over the head" with feelings of guilt. Get rid
of your anger as quickly as possible. Forget about the
past. Get on with the rest of your life without delay!
Revitalize those ambitions that have been "hidden away"
in the back of your mind, and consider this particular
time in your life as an opportunity for a new start. Do
some introspection relative to what it is you want out
of life; reorganize your time and efforts to attain those
objectives; and go for it with all you've got!
After all has been said and done, the kind of person you
are and how you get along in the world you live in, is
up to you. The most powerful assistance for attaining
happiness anyone has, is in what he or she says, feels,
and believes about himself or herself. When things are
not quite right, the first thing that needs to be changed
is your disposition - your attitude, feelings towards
other people, and your emotional responses. Think about
your facial expressions and the tone of your voice when
you're talking with other people. Being aware of these
things with consideration towards other people, will "bring
you out of your-self" and allow other people to want to
know more about you.
You have to forget about, and let go of, the past. Anything
and everything that happened yesterday is long gone and
cannot be changed. You have the rest of your life from
this moment on, to achieve love - happiness - fame and
fortune.
Whatever it is you want in life can be yours. All that's
necessary to make any dream come true is a true understanding
of what you want, and determination on your part to make
it all happen according to your plan. Think about what
you want - prepare yourself to get it - focus your efforts
on the fulfillment of your ambitions - and there's nothing
that can stop you from total realization!
So, the first thing relative to rebuilding one's self-esteem
- following a divorce, or the loss of a loved one by any
circumstances - is to understand why you hurt, and what
is necessary in order to be happy again. It essential
that you think of YOURSELF in terms of the kind of life
you want for yourself; know that you can have it all because
you've laid the foundation, done your homework, and you're
on a positive road towards achievement; and then get busy
"making tracks" in that direction.
In simple terms - it hurts, but you're not dead - you're
only wasting time thinking about or rehashing the past
because there's no way anything that happened yesterday
or the day before can be changed - so quickly pick up
the pieces, and get on with your life!
Wanting to "get well," and/or to "make something out of
your life," is half the battle!
Don't
forget to click on the banners and buttons above to keep
this site free.
Terms and Conditions
Copyright
© 2001 - 2002 MateforMe.com. All rights reserved.
