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How
To Reorganize For Happiness After A Divorce (by
: Author Unknown)
The big thing about going through the experience of a
divorce is that it leaves you completely worn out and
drained of desire to go on with your life. Typically,
divorces shatter the hopes and dreams - the ambitions
- of both parties involved. Most of the time, the one
who's been victimized feels that he or she has no more
purpose or inspiration for achievement. He or she feels
that whatever they do, it won't matter to the person they
most wanted to do for, so what does it matter what they
do with themselves.
This is the wrong kind of thinking! You musn't let yourself
think along these lines! Divorce is terribly hard and
an emotional blow that's difficult to recover from, but
it should not be "taken" as the end of everything. You
have to accept it as the end of one period or chapter
of your life; look at it as an opportunity for a new beginning,
and build a better you from there.
Above all else, don't panic. If you panic, you can't think,
and in order to make any progress in life, you've got
to think. Don't get dramatic and over dramatize your woes
either in your imagination or in words - spoken or written.
If your immediate situation seems overwhelming and you're
unable to see how you'll ever make it through the next
week, don't start crying and feeling sorry for yourself
- it will only bog you down with the inability to think
clearly.
Don't allow yourself to engage in post-mortems and/or
nurse regrets. It's important that you forget about the
past - let it rest - there's nothing you can do to change
it - accept your situation as it is, and build your life
to what you want it to be from this moment onward.
One of the most important things for you to do is to list
on paper exactly, your present situation and then, one
at a time, list your options and possible solutions to
each problem. Don't worry about finding a solution for
everything all at once; just try to see clearly what your
next step ought to be.
Always ask yourself what the right course is - remembering
that if what you do isn't right, then it's wrong; and
no wrong action ever works out right.
It's imperative that you understand the emotional injury
of your situation, but at the same time, it's also imperative
that you not stand still. In other words, you must quickly
- without delay - regain control of your life and get
on with the attainment of all your ambitions.
You do this by expunging the past, taking stock of your
present situation, and making plans for the rest of your
life - by deciding what you want out of life and how you
intend to get what you want. Do it on paper and set realistic
goals for yourself, as well as dates for attainment.
Happiness in life is a feeling of inner satisfaction you
feel when you enjoy whatever you do - your work, your
leisure time activities, the people you associate with,
and acceptance by the people you most to impress...
It doesn't come from harboring grudges - from attempting
to be something you're not - from expecting the world
and/or the people around you to cater to your problems
or desires - or from your position or status in life...
Indeed, happiness comes from your association and inner-action
with other people. Thus, following a divorce, you must
immediately begin mingling with other people and not only
be empathetic relative to ways in which you can help them,
but also interested in them as people. The more you reach
out to help others, the more help you'll receive in return;
and at the bottom line, the greater your own personal
happiness.
So, in order to attain happiness after a painful divorce
- you must "close the book" on everything in the past;
take stock of your present situation; lay out a "game
plan" for what kind of life you want; start moving in
a positive direction to achieve your ambitions; and even
if you have to force yourself, make new friends and enjoy
yourself.
Don't go around sizing up or evaluating every man or woman
you meet as a possible candidate for your next marriage
- get on with your life - do what you have to do to attain
your ambitions - inter-mingle with people and be a real
friend - give yourself and other people a chance - and
when the time is right, love will find you again.
You musn't go looking for happiness or love for as surely
as you do; you'll never find it. You must be satisfied
with yourself as a person - whatever it is you're doing,
you're doing your best; attempting to always improve yourself;
and you're moving in a positive direction towards the
fulfillment of the kind of person you want to be - and,
you enjoy mingling with people; talking with them; helping
them; and doing things with them.
Remember, to attain success in life you have to know what
it is you want and how to get there. Once you're on a
positive road towards the attainment of success, you'll
find that it will come easily and quickly. With a positive
direction in life, you'll feel better about yourself and
associating with other people as a friend will come about
automatically. You'll no longer think about the world
or other people as threatening - in fact, you'll enjoy
being alive and the dawning of each new day - and that's
when you will really be happy.
Again, it's a matter of getting on with your life - of
forgetting about the past and moving positively towards
the things that you want in life. Give in to the hurt
you feel and you'll surely waste away - Consider this
a new start in life and it can all be yours - whatever
you do, the choice is yours...
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