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5 Tips For Long Lasting Relationships (by Bob Bishop)
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Dating
and marriage is different than it was twenty years ago.
Today, more than 50% of all marriages fail for one reason
or another. Just thinking about that makes "commitment"
seem scary. It seems that when relationships are faced
with challenges, people quit trying. Dating is more like
a marathon, trying to date as many people as possible,
instead of taking time to get to know someone at a deeper
level. For married couples, divorce is not biased. Whether
married for thirty years or eight months, the outcome
can be the same.
The
fact is that relationships, whether dating or married,
are hard. Things do not always go perfectly, fighting
does occur, and it takes a 100% commitment from both parties
to make it a success. Often when people break off a relationship,
they feel as though something is missing. The "spark"
has gone, leaving one or both people feeling inadequate
and unfulfilled.
There
are hundreds of things you can do to better your relationship.
To help get you headed in the right direction, we have
chosen 5 ways to build, strengthen, and enhance your relationship.
1.
Start Over
When
couples first get together, everything is new and exciting.
They overlook the little annoying things the other person
does. However, after time, the nagging starts, instead
of hearing, "You look beautiful," they might
hear "Why are you wearing that shirt?" If this
sounds like your relationship, first, the two of you need
to sit down and be honest that things have changed. Identify
the things each of you did in the beginning of the relationship
that created the attraction in the first place.
Then
together, make a commitment to start over. The truth is,
both of you will have to work on this. It will not automatically
be easy but it is possible. Start by forgiving each other,
forgetting the past, and then start over with the flirtation.
Focus only on the special things your mate does and relearn
to put the unimportant things aside. It will take some
time so be patient
2.
Schedule Time
Spending
quality time together is crucial. This time can be with
friends, dining out, attending a sporting event, or cuddling
together while watching a favorite movie. The activity
is not what is important but the fact that you are together,
doing something that you both enjoy. People have extremely
busy schedules and between work, family, the home, errands,
and everything else going on, finding time for your mate
can be difficult. Just as you would schedule a meeting
on your calendar, show some courtesy in the relationship
by scheduling time with each other. Once the plan is in
place, no backing out unless you have some life and death
emergency.
3.
The Power of Touch
When
a child is ill, doctors will tell you that it is proven
that a simple, loving touch of a parent can quickly pull
the child through a crisis. It is the same for relationships.
Playing with your mate's hair, rubbing their hand, a soft
kiss on the neck, a soft pat on the leg or giving a gentle
back rub will make a huge difference in how your mate
responds to you.
When
was the last time you walked up to your mate for no reason
and without saying a word, affectionately placed a kiss
on their neck? This is not in a sexual way, but an affectionate
way. There is a difference. The next time the two of you
are sitting in the car, at the grocery story, or standing
in line at the theater, quietly reach over and take their
hand. Do not be surprised if you get a strange look of
curiosity the first time!
4.
Surprise
If
you and your mate have scheduled some time for a Friday
night dinner, put together a surprise instead. For example,
if your mate loves professional wrestling, buy some tickets
near the front or if they like concerts, purchase the
tickets ahead of time, getting the best seats possible.
When Friday night comes around, insist on driving and
head toward the location where the event is taking place.
When asked where you are going, simply answer, "I
have a surprise for you. I know you love professional
wrestling so I purchased two great seats for tonight's
performance," or "I know we had planned on going
to dinner, but I wanted to surprise you with something
special. I purchased tickets to see one of your favorite
groups in concert." The idea of you getting the tickets
for something THEY like and then keeping it as a special
surprise will touch the heart!
5.
Needed Space
As
important as it is to spend quality time together, it
is equally important to give each other time to do something
they like. If your mate loves to fish but you have no
desire to bait a hook with little, slimy worms, or if
you like to go to the casino but your mate would rather
do something different, encourage each other to take time
apart. Try establishing a set time for this very purpose,
if possible. For example, perhaps you could determine
that every other Friday night is "singles" night.
This is not a time to date other people, but to enjoy
preferred activities. Remember that you have to place
trust in your relationship. If you try this and then drill
them, to see what they did, whom they were with, and where
they went, then the exercise has failed.
Bob
Bishop may be contacted at http://www.romance21.com
bob@bishopdigital.com.
Click here to view more of their articles.
Bob Bishop is the author of The Creative Guide To Romance
and the Editor of Romance21.com Get your free e-book "101
Secrets to Building Lasting Relationships That Last Forever!"
http://www.romance21.com
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