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And The Winner Is... (by Annagail Lynes)
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Imagine
being on one of those television reality shows where you
are surrounded by twenty-five gorgeous people. Imagine
that every week you had to eliminate people from the running.
How would you decide who to keep and who to send home?
Every
time you date, you are going through that selection process.
Is this guy right for me? Oooh, did you see the flowers
he sent me? Ugh, did you hear how he burped at the table?
What is she going to do with her life? Will her parents
like me?
Did
you know that the Bachelor game was played in the Bible?
Just
ask Esther. When Xerxes was looking for a new wife after
Vashti disobeyed him, he held a beauty pageant. The women
were put through vigorous beauty treatments for twelve
months. Twelve months! You couldnt run down to the
beauty spa and salon to make yourself beauty. It took
twelve, long months. Each contestant was brought before
the king, but he favored Esther. Why because of her beauty?
All the women were beautiful. No, she had something the
others didnt. A sweet spirit.
You
are special to God. You are the Kings Kid and that
makes you special. As royalty, you cant just pick
a dating partner because he is good-looking. He has to
be worthy to take you out.
How
do you determine whom you will date and whom you won't
date? What does God have to say about whom you should
date? Let's search the Bible for answers.
In
the first round of elimination, you should eliminate anyone
who is not a Born-Again Christian. Paul warned us in 2
Corinthians 6:14, "Be ye not unequally yoked together
with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness
with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with
darkness?"
Choose
people who share your beliefs because a relationship without
God as the center is doomed to fail from the start. If
you end up marrying the person later on in life and that
person doesnt accept Jesus, you will be headed to
two different destinations when you die.
In
the second round of elimination, you need to rid yourself
of any unnecessary trouble, such as suspected drug dealers,
drinkers, known liars, anything that breaks the Ten Commandments.
1 Thessalonians 5:22 told us to "Abstain from all
appearance of evil."
Most
people, especially females, enter relationships thinking
they can change their partner. This is a big mistake!
You cannot change another person. You cannot make him
stop drinking or her stop smoking. You cannot force him
to stop lying to you or her to stop dealing drugs. Doing
so is a waste of time. You can only change you.
The
next round of elimination deals with their relationship
with God. How committed are they to their Heavenly Father?
What is their life centered around? Is it sports? Work?
God? If the center is not God, this should be a red flag.
A person who is not God-centered has his priorities out
of alignment. I am not just talking about going to church.
Many people attend church regularly, but do not have a
personal relationship with God. Listen to the way the
person's talks. The key to his relationship with God lies
in his tongue. Does he talk about what God is doing in
his life? What God has done? What God told him? What he
learned from the Word? These are signs that his relationship
with God is in order.
Also
observe his behavior. How does he treat you? With respect
or does he try to control you?
How
does he treat people in general? Is he rude? Does he insist
on his own way? If he is committed to God, he will be
changing little by little. And this will be noticeable
in his behavior. Even if he does behave badly, he should
be sorry. If he isn't, you have to question his commitment
to God.
Then
you should eliminate angry people from your dating selection.
Proverbs
22:24 puts it this way: "Make no friendship with
an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:"
People
who are angry with the world, who have a chip on their
shoulders and think the world owes them something need
to work on themselves before getting involved with someone
else. These issues will only serve you problems down the
road.
Find
out what the person's dreams and goals are for his life.
Does he share goals and dreams that our compatible with
yours? Does he want to live in Africa feeding starving
children, and you want to be a high-priced lawyer in the
United States? Or do you both want to go into the mission
field?
Why
should you find out this information before you date a
person? Why should you eliminate these people as dating
hopefuls? Aren't you dating just to have fun? No, the
purpose of dating is to interview candidates to be your
future mate, just like on the Bachelor or Bachelorette.
And that is a process that must be taken seriously. If
you date without marriage in mind, it is like playing
with fire. You are going to go through unnecessary pain
and anxiety.
Annagail
Lynes may be contacted at http://destined.to/visionhopemag
visionhopemag@netzero.net.
Click here to view more of their articles.
Annagail Lynes is editor of VisionHope News. VisionHope
News is for young adults and features articles on dating,
school, parents, peer pressure and other youth-related
issues. For a free issue of VisionHope News, visit http://destined.to/visionhopemag
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