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Dating in a Down Economy (by Diane Danielson)
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Life:Womens Issues
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Thoughts
from the Table: Dating in a Down Economy
When
my friend, S, announced that she “quit” dating
last week, I found it amusing that I had worded my own
exit from the dating scene in exactly the same way. I
quit, just like I did my last job. Somewhere along the
line dating became indistinguishable from work. My world
had become one long, unending interview, answering the
same questions over and over again, like “why did
you leave your last position?” and “what advantages
do you have over a younger, sleeker model?”
On
a job interview, people are used to career changes and
layoffs. On a date, however, we often find ourselves defending
our status as over-35 and single. At least in the job
market they employ euphemisms like “over-qualified,”
and “priced out of this market.” (Note to self
– if decide to subject self to dating again, when
insulted by next Prince Not-So-Charming simply tell him
that I’m over-qualified and priced out of his market.)
And
what if you get beyond the first interview, oops, I mean,
date? Another problem arises: if you’re both out
of work, who pays? The last time this happened, I let
him pay – after all, he confessed that he had yet
to lay off his housecleaner. This in my mind was my most
tragic sacrifice as I seemed to have missed out on the
housecleaning gene entirely. (Which may be one of the
reasons I’m back on the singles scene … hold
on … I quit dating, I don’t have to respond
to that!)
So
what’s a singleton to do? I tell my biz dev clients
that the point of going to networking events is not to
land clients, but to meet people you might enjoy following
up with in the future, or to come home with some vital
information. If you do either, then it was a successful
event. Why not think of your next date not as a potential
relationship but as an opportunity to spend time with
someone who may actually be interesting? If you have fun
or learn something (even if it’s that folk-singing
male nurses don't exactly flip your biscuit), consider
it a good date.
Table
Thought for the Week: Work, or looking for work, is hard
enough these days, so don’t spend your free time
doing something that’s not fun. Think about what
makes you happiest, and if dating fits into that, go for
it! If not, be good to yourself, and take a well-deserved
sabbatical.
Diane
Danielson may be contacted at http://www.downtownwomensclub.com
diane@downtownwomensclub.com.
Click here to view more of their articles.
Diane K. Danielson is the executive director of the Downtown
Women's Clubs and the co-author of Table Talk: The Savvy
Girl's Alternative to Networking (1stBooks, April 2003),
available on Amazon or at
http://www.TableTalkBooks.com.
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