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Art
of Flirting (by Joe Vetromile)
Flirting
is the way most people determine whether or not a member
of the opposite sex is interested in them. Following
is a quick outline on how you should go about the complex,
sometimes fun, sometimes not so fun, task of flirting.
It all beings with your approach.
The Approach
One person approaches the other. They move into closer
physical proximity. This much is clear: NO approach equals
NO possibility of initiating contact. You must approach!
Example: A woman sits down next to a man in a coffee shop,
or a man stands near a woman in a dance club. This
is the first step. Once you approach, you begin
looking for the signs.
The Signs
The person who has been approached will always signal
the other's presence in some way...a sign. This signal
is not like a train whistle, however, more a subtle body
language which you can learn to recognize. For example,
he or she simply may look up, move over to make room,
nod slightly, or signal with a glancing eye contact.
A display of total obliviousness to the one who is approaching
generally indicates lack of interest altogether.
Don't be discouraged. But if the one you approached
shows absolutely no interest, then it's time to re-group
and try again. But let's say the approach works.
You have your positive acknowledgement, now what?
Time to talk
The Verbal Exchange
The two people may then engage in a mild verbal exchange
about impersonal, unimportant matters such as the weather
or the scene around them. The key word here is MILD.
This is the classic place for the clever "line," but cleverness
is not required. At this point, a verbal exchange is not
for the purpose of sharing valuable insights about life
or determining philosophical compatibility. It is just
a vehicle to further the developing contact.
Examples: Verbal overtures might include anything from
"please pass the pickles" to "your looking great tonight",
to "have you seen the waitress?". Without some form of
verbal response, it is highly unlikely that the next step
will occur. Let's say all is going as planned.
Time for body language.
Body Language
Over a period of time, a couple that has begun to talk
may also begin to orient themselves physically to one
another, to turn toward one another until, if all is goes
well, they are fully facing one another. This is
your goal.
This step can take minutes or hours . . . or weeks or
months . . . to achieve. Yet, without this physical reorientation
toward one another, not very much can ever happen, so
give up on people who turn their back toward you for long
periods of time! But if they don't...
Touching
The woman or the man (most often the woman) touches the
other in a light, fleeting way. Examples: A couple might
accidentally brush their hands against one another while
reaching for a drink, or the woman might pat the man on
the arm in the middle of a shared joke. The exchange of
very subtle, almost glancing touches may continue for
some while, and if all goes well, can escalate into the
casual affections shown by couples who are dating.
If you've reached this point, then flirting has now become
the beginning of a relationship. The Art of Flirting
should always end with the beginning of a relationship.
Now get out there and flirt.
The Art of Flirting is really the Art of making first
contact. You only have one shot at making a great
first impression. By following some of the guidelines
we've established in this article, you should now be equipped
to locate, approach, and ascertain whether or not your
subtle flirting has opened the doors to a new and exciting
relationship.
My name is Joe Vetromile, and I'm an author/screenwriter
living in So. California. I've written hundreds of articles
on the subjects of flirting, dating and breaking-up. Besides
having first hand experience with all three, my research
on the art of dating confirms to me that while the ritual
of hooking up with a soul-mate may be arduous at times,
the end result of finding that perfect someone to share
the rest of your life with, is well worth the effort.
Joe Vetromile writes for DrDating - a web site for anyone
looking for love online. We have hundreds of articles,
E-Books and links to some great dating and love sites
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