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Pursuing New Adventures To Find Mr/Ms Right (by Toni
Coleman)
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Coaching
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Are
you tired of the whole dating scene? Have you spent many
hours (years) going to parties and events with the hope
of meeting compatible and available singles? If so, now
may be time to think about doing something different.
Really different.
After
all, we tend to move about socially in the same close-knit
circles. The same guys/women at a friend's party or at
the functions held by our church or synagogue. Even the
happy hour crowd can become all too familiar. Don't despair.
There are lots of new and exciting ways to meet people
if you are willing to do a little local research and are
game for some new adventures.
Before
I get into the specifics, I need to emphasize the importance
of having a basic plan. Primarily this involves a budget
for time and money investment. It also requires that you
really think about what would meet YOUR needs, as you
get ready to commit to some new leisure activities and
interests.
A
good way to start is to spend a little time thinking about
those things you always wanted to try or to learn about.
For instance, have you had a desire to try hiking, biking,
swimming or other athletic pursuits? What about something
a little more exotic like caving, skydiving or scuba?
Perhaps cultural pursuits are more to your liking, but
you don't know anyone you can share these with. If so,
you may feel uncomfortable or just not interested in going
out and doing them alone.
With
some ideas in mind, (or maybe no specific list), you are
ready to begin to gather information about local available
resources.
Major
metropolitan areas are rich in singles events. These are
hosted by for profit companies as well as singles groups/clubs
that are affiliated with religious and other private organizations.
You can begin your search by looking through local newspapers
and checking out the listings with you county, city or
community center. A web search is also a great way to
gather information. Just use keywords that include singles,
activities, events, and the name of your local metropolitan
area. If you live in an outer, less populated area, don't
give up. Look into what is available in the nearest large
city. Also, note the trips for singles that allow you
to meet people from around the country.
Once
you have identified regional and local groups and organizations,
begin to go through all their listings. Be open to hearing/reading
about everything that is available. This process can give
you a lot of ideas and will let you know what all your
choices are. The list can be almost overwhelming! Many
singles are searching for new adventures and this has
led to an explosion of activities and events being offered.
The
following is a "rough" list of what you may
find:
*
Sports - volleyball, basketball, tennis, golf, sailing,
horseback riding, and sports leagues for a number of team
sports
*
Athletic - hiking, biking, canoeing, kayaking, white water
rafting, camping, walking groups
*
Exotic athletic events - scuba, caving, skydiving, mountain
climbing, hang gliding, paintballing
*
New Skill Learning - pistol-shooting classes
*
Cultural - museum tours, theatre, ballet, symphony, opera
*
Social - scavenger hunts, wine tasting at vineyards, group
dinners
After
you have made your picks, check to see that you can work
them into your schedule and budget. Remember, as you make
your final selection(s), that this is supposed to be FUN
for you. Choose something that you believe you would enjoy
and that would be basically within your ability to participate
in. (i.e.) If you are terrified of heights, avoid skydiving.
Keep
in mind that challenging athletic pursuits tend to bring
out the (true) best and worst sides of us all. Not only
will you give yourself an experience that can help you
develop greater confidence and self-esteem, you will also
learn more about yourself and how you relate to others.
This will be true of the other participants as well. Therefore,
you will get a much more candid snapshot of the singles
you meet during these activities/events. You will also
maximize your opportunity to meet like-minded singles,
who share at least one of your interests.
So,
pull some of those old dreams or recent fantasies out
of mothballs. Let yourself play. Along the way you just
may find a new favorite passion, a great friend or new
love.
Toni
Coleman may be contacted at http://www.consum-mate.com
Toni@consum-mate.com.
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Toni Coleman is a licensed therapist and relationship
coach in private practice in McLean, Virginia. She specializes
in working with singles that want to create lasting, intimate
relationships. Toni has over 20 years of post-masters
experience in relationship counseling and coaching with
singles and couples. She is the founder and President
of LifeChange Coaching and Consum-mate Relationship Coaching.
She developed and teaches the Creating Lasting Relationships
Training, a tele-workshop designed to help singles to
define, implement and fulfill their life and relationship
goals. She has also written numerous email classes for
singles on all aspects of meeting, dating and relating.
She is the author of the email newsletter, The Art of
Intimacy, which goes out to thousands of subscribers monthly
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