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Finding
Someone Special (by Cheryl Lewis)
Browsing
through the personal classifieds can be quite frustrating
if you really don't know what qualities or the type of
personality it is that you are searching for in the person
you are seeking, or in the relationship you are seeking.
Questions you need to ask yourself before and as you are
reading through the personal sections again are: Why are
you searching for someone, do you want a companion, a
serious relationship or just to make friends with someone
new with the hopes of dating. Who are you looking for,
are you searching for someone tall, short, thin, stout,
young, old, divorced, widowed, single, married, and the
list goes on to include all personal choices and preferences
in people.
Discussing this theory a little more in detail - If you
have a problem dating someone with kids, you should skip
over the classifieds that reveal those people who have
kids or you will only be letting yourself down in the
end when you are building a relationship. This theory
pertains to all of the listings, for example, if you are
searching for someone that is just for you, without ever
sharing that person with another, search for someone who
has never been married or who is not a widow (widower).
Once you know whom you are searching for, you will be
able to read the personal classifieds with more confidence
and decision making abilities.
Read the classifieds completely, tracking the writing
that interests you the most so that you can go back and
compare, reread or contact that person. Reading
through the entire personal section, or at very least
the section that applies your target interest group,
you will find a variety of people with vast differences
in personalities just through the short descriptions available.
Now is the tough time to write your contact letter, made
much simpler if you have already created your profile
for replies to read about you. Starting your reply
is easy with an opening such as, 'I have read your profile
and found you are most intriguing (interesting, exciting,
provocative)' or you could use something more elaborate
such as 'Your profile interested me to the point where
I had to contact you right away to find out what we have
in common.' While there are many expressions and
various phrases you can use when writing your opening
letter, the contact letter is truly going to be a reflection
of your personality, and what you are searching for in
a relationship.
The first example of 'I have read your profile and found
you are most intriguing', would reveal that you are interested.
Are you searching for friendship in the classified section?
Try using the first example building on that sentence
to read along the lines of: 'I would like the opportunity
to get to know you better and talk a while'. But
if you are searching for a lover through the personals,
the second sentence could read: 'I really would love to
get to know you better, find out what type of person you
are searching for and hopefully to create a match with
you'. The point here is to keep your true feelings
within the boundaries of words, not scaring off someone
if you are just wanting to be friends, while on the other
hand if you are searching for a lover don't hide behind
words of a friendly chat.
Top ideas to use in your opening introduction letter are
express your interest to your potential 'date' using your
writing to express why you are contacting that person.
Reveal to this person how you propose to meet their needs
in their search for a friend, companion or lover using
expressive words such as 'I intend to' or 'I would like
to' or even 'I have been searching through the classifieds
and found your profile appealing to me because'.
Give just a few hints about your where you are located,
without revealing to much about your without determining
whether the two of you will continue a conversation.
Use phrases like, 'I am from the east coast' or 'I live
south of California' or other such general terms, revealing
your location to a particular location through later conversations.
Your initial contact with a proposed 'date'¯ should be
about the type of person you are searching for, why you
have been using resources online to search for someone
special, and what you are hoping to gain from a relationship
from this person with personal details revealed through
additional conversations as your 'relationship' trust
grows.
Online personals have been created for the user to act
anonymously while investigating the possibilities of friendship,
love and for finding that someone special to spend your
life with. Using your thoughts and feelings through
this situation, creatively with expressive words without
misleading readers will allow you to reach your destination,
of finding that someone special, faster and easier that
you would be able to in any other situation.
Cheryl Lewis, freelance writer, married and mother of
three. Based in the Mountains of PA
Cheryl writes for DrDating - a web site for anyone looking
for love online. We have hundreds of articles, E-Books
and links to some great dating and love sites all over
the world. DrDating also offers reviews of some of the
most popular dating sites and books.
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