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Jack and Jacqueline Kennedy - A Marriage (by by michelle
O)
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Political:Conservative
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The
courtship of Jack Kennedy and Jacqueline Bouvier was not
the stuff of romantic dreams. They grew up in surprisingly
different worlds but were very much connected through
their troubled childhoods. Jackie was the product of a
broken home; her parents Jack and Janet Bouvier had been
through a difficult divorce in 1939, which was widely
reported in the newspapers at the time only adding to
her distress at losing her beloved father from her daily
life. She was not close to her mother and they had a troubled
relationship throughout her adolescent years. Jackie's
mother was something of a snob who wished to move amongst
the elite circles of Newport society. The problem was
that at the time of her parents divorce Jackie's father
had been almost penniless leaving his ex-wife and his
children financially insecure. Things were to change significantly
for Jackie after her mother's remarriage in 1943 to a
wealthy stockbroker named Hugh D. Auchincloss.
Janet,
Jackie and her sister Lee moved into a beautiful new home,
Hammersmith Farm that belonged to her new stepfather.
In time her mother added two new children into the family
to mix with the other children from Hughdies previous
marriage. It was a lonely time for Jackie and Lee who
were missing their father and Jackie withdrew deeper into
herself becoming almost reclusive. She had a love of books,
poetry, and painting, a romantic soul; she would immerse
herself in books dreaming her way through her days. For
Jack Kennedy life couldn't be more different in some ways.
The second of nine children, he led a charmed life from
a materialistic point of view. The son of Joe and Rose
Kennedy, his father was the former Ambassador to the Court
of St. James and a multi-millionaire and his mother the
daughter of the former Mayor of Boston. Jack and his siblings
never wanted for anything as they grew up. His father
had made millions in his many business ventures among
them Banking, Stock Broking, Films in Hollywood and endless
other projects. They had houses in Boston, New York, Palm
Beach Florida and Hyannis Port on Cape Cod. For the children
however, life centred on each other and they formed such
strong bonds that they were to remain close friends quite
apart from their relationships as siblings throughout
their lives. Their parents were to spend a lot of time
away from them as children, travelling across Europe,
their father looking after his business interests and
their mother making the rounds of the fashion houses in
Europe. While their mother remained distant from them
emotionally, for their father they were the centres of
his universe and they in turned loved him unconditionally.
Jack had been very ill as a child and it was his love
of books and reading that would get him through some of
his darkest days, A great admirer of courage and heroism
he initially read spy novels but as he matured he became
an avid reader of historical novels and poetry.
When
Jack met Jackie for the first time he was a young Congressman.
Nothing came of their first meeting and it was to be almost
a year before their paths would cross again at a dinner
organised by mutual friends of theirs the Charles Bartlett's.
Jackie was very polished and elegant in her appearance
while Jack looked as if he had just leapt out of bed,
a dishevelled suit, sports socks and an old pair of trainers
completing his outfit. Nevertheless Jackie was intrigued,
he was confident in his manner and had a good sense of
humour, added to the fact that he was handsome and one
of the most eligible bachelors in Washington, she agreed
to meet him again.
Their
dating was at times sporadic, with Jack always in a hurry
to some meeting, or off on a trip somewhere or other.
Jackie was working at the Washington Times Herald at this
time as an 'inquiring photographer' a position that had
been formally held by Jacks sister Kathleen. Here she
was told many stories about the fresh-faced congressman
including his war heroics and his desirability amongst
the female race. She was fascinated by him and more than
a little flattered that he was interested in her. Although
engaged at this time to a young man her mother thought
completely suitable, she called the engagement off and
spent more and more time with Jack. While their personalities
were completely dissimilar they had a lot in common, their
love of books and history, difficult relationships with
their mothers, and both were intellectuals. She was educated
at Miss Porters, Vassar and the Sorbonne and carried herself
with a style and elegance unlike anyone he had known.
His father and brothers were to recognise these attributes
and grow to appreciate her rather more quickly than Jack.
Jack
was impressed by Jackie's intelligence rather than threatened
by it and their common love of books was a shared interest
they would retain throughout their lives. Jack was never
dull, he was a great conversationalist, and he had a thirst
for knowledge and a curiosity that intrigued Jackie ensuring
she was never bored. His reputation as something of a
playboy did not give her cause for hesitation either,
it made him all the more interesting to her. She had hero-worshipped
her father who was of a similar disposition and she could
see the similarities in Jack. He was good for her self-image
and he improved her feelings of self worth.
Jack
and Jackie married in Newport in 1953 in a wedding that
was stage managed by Joe Kennedy. Over twelve hundred
guests attended the wedding reception including the crème
of Washington Society. Joe was going to make sure that
Jacks profile was heightened at every available opportunity.
The newlyweds headed for Acapulco where they spent what
were according to Jackie blissful days together. However,
on their return they stopped off in California to visit
friends of Jacks and when Jack suggested Jackie continue
back to Washington alone, a dark cloud formed over their
relationship.
Jackie
had known what Jack was like before she married him, but
as with many women she allowed herself to believe that
she would change him once they were married. It was not
to be and once back in Washington; Jack continued his
dalliances with other women, sometimes slipping out of
parties leaving his new bride alone and humiliated.
Jackie
tried to re-make her image convinced that it was her fault
and that if she were more attractive he wouldn't stray.
This did not deter Jack who continued his sexual exploits
at every opportunity. She was to suffer a miscarriage
in her first year of marriage causing her to withdraw
ever more deeply into herself.
Jack
became very ill in 1954 and had to be hospitalised for
a spinal cord fusion operation. The fact that he suffered
from Addison's disease further complicated things, as
he would be at serious risk from infection. Although the
operation was successful, infection did indeed set in
leaving Jacks life in the balance for almost three days.
Though Jackie had not been a favourite of either her mother-in-law
or Jacks sisters up to now, she proved her mettle in her
determination not to leave her husbands side. Through
the long months of his convalescence she remained by his
side, changing his dressings and cleaning the gory open
wound in his back. She read to him and invited interesting
people in to visit him to help lift him from the depression
that had set in following the harrowing operation. When
Jack began to write his Pulitzer Prize winning book, Profiles
of Courage, Jackie was there to help with the research,
take notes and help organise his daily activities. At
this point the troubles of their early-married days seemed
to be behind them.
However,
from once Jack recovered life returned to the same pattern
as before. Jackie was devastated that he could continue
to betray her in this way after all they had been through.
Things were to become worse though when after a failed
bid for the Vice Presidential nomination at the Democratic
Convention in Chicago in 1956 Jack left a heavily pregnant
Jackie to go to the Riviera with friends on holiday. Jackie
went into labour early and was delivered of a stillborn
baby girl. It took several days to reach Jack and when
they finally did he did not intend to return home immediately.
It was his brother Bobby who would attend to Jackie and
organise the burial of baby Arabella. It was only when
his father ordered his return that Jack left the yacht
in the South of France to return to his traumatised wife.
The
marriage was in serious trouble, with her self-confidence
in shreds; Jackie recovered from the loss of her baby
while trying to decide if there was anything left of their
marriage to salvage. Ultimately she decided to stay with
Jack because she loved him deeply despite the terrible
pain he had caused her in the past and she was confident
that in time he would grow to feel the same way about
her.
The
following year in November 1957 their daughter Caroline
was born. The deep feelings that both parents felt for
their daughter strengthened their own commitment to each
other and on some levels their marriage began to work.
Jack was extraordinarily busy over the next three years
at first unofficially politicking his way through the
country testing the waters for when he would begin his
campaign for the Presidency and the young couple spent
much of their time apart. During this time, though Jackie
was aware that the philandering was continuing, for her
it was a classic case of out of sight, out of mind. While
she continued to look after their daughter and create
a home that she wanted Jack to be able to come back to
and appreciate, she began to block all the unpleasantness
from her mind and concentrate on the good times when the
three of them were together.
Jackie
continued to help her husband by reading research material
for him and finding inspirational quotes to help his speeches.
She had long worked on his wardrobe and appearance and
he no longer looked like the ragbag he had been at Congress.
Tall, handsome and distinguished he was gaining a reputation
as the future of the Democratic Party. Jackie was proud
of her husband but dismayed that he wanted to go after
the Presidency while he was still so young. Jackie was
pregnant with her second child in the months leading up
to the campaign for the democratic nomination and she
felt that if Jack were elected they would miss out on
a normal family life, depriving their children of their
privacy.
Jack
would not be deterred, he knew that America was ready
for change and that this was his chance. He could not
afford to wait for another four years so he strode ahead
winning primary after primary until he won the nomination
of the Democratic Party making his graceful acceptance
speech at the 1960 convention in Los Angeles. For Jackie
it was a frightening time, she was only thirty-four years
old and the mother of two young children. She feared that
they would have no home life at all and that her privacy
would be taken away from her.
As
it was to turn out the White House years were to be the
happiest years of her marriage and indeed her life. From
the time the Kennedy's entered the White House their lives
were to change completely. For the first time in their
married life Jack, Jackie and the children would spend
the majority of their time together, living as a proper
family. Since the birth of his children Jack had matured
considerably, he wanted to spend time at home with them
and became a more constant presence in their lives. Like
all couples the bond that children bring to a relationship
is immeasurable as it was in the case of Jack and Jackie.
They were able to develop their own rituals, such as Caroline
walking Jack to work each morning, John coming into the
Oval Office for a story in the early mornings, swims with
their father in the pool in the evenings, even family
meals being taken together. Likewise with Jackie, after
their successful trip to Europe in 1961 where the people
of Paris feted Jackie as though she were royalty, Jack
began to appreciate what an asset his beautiful, intelligent
wife was. He was finally able to see in her what everybody
else knew to be there all along - her intelligence, wit,
elegance, beauty and the many other gifts and talents
she brought to the White House. From these days onwards
the couple operated as more of a partnership than at any
other time in their relationship.
For
Jackie though she would never have anticipated it, her
time in the White House was to be the most fulfilling
of her life to date. She began with her White House restoration
plans, transforming the mansion from a dull office building
into a beautiful museum worthy of the people it would
play host to over the years. She brought style and elegance
to the many functions they held as well as a sense of
history and culture. Two of her most defining social moments
would be the state dinner at Mount Vernon and the celebrated
Pablo Cassals concert, both of which were personal triumphs
for Jackie. As the couple spent more time together and
with their professional lives more fulfilling and successful
they rediscovered some of their earlier feelings for each
other. Each watched with pride as their personal achievements
were celebrated. Their children too were a deep source
of pride for each of them and they had the opportunity
to watch them grow as they encouraged each child to develop
their own personalities. The happiness they found in their
children was to cement their feelings for each other as
they re-discovered the reasons that had drawn them together
in the first place.
And
so it was that with the tragic death of their baby son
Patrick in August 1963 that both Jack and Jackie would
realise the true intensity of their feelings for each
other and their marriage. The death of the baby boy devastated
Jack who had remained by the baby's side in the intensive
care unit of the children's hospital in Boston following
his premature birth. He undoubtedly was suffering from
guilt also from being an absentee father when his first
daughter Arabella was born, but also he worried for Jackie's
mental state, as she had to cope with the loss of another
longed for child. A man not given to showing emotion and
voicing his feelings, Jack was to weep openly over the
death of his son and cling to the coffin as they waited
to bury him. When he returned to Jackie his grief had
changed him and thereafter he was more solicitous of her
feelings than ever. Not a naturally demonstrative man
he had never hugged her openly before and had always shied
away from people touching him, but in the months after
Patrick's death he hugged both his children and his wife
to him and didn't show any of the discomfort he had previously
felt.
Jack
was to spend the remaining weekends of his life with his
wife and children, watching them roughhousing together
with their pets and his countless nephews and nieces.
It was as if he could not bare to be without them. Though
his affairs had not stopped entirely he was more faithful
to Jackie than at any time during their marriage. She
in turn was grateful for this change in her husband and
looked forward to the future with optimism. It was with
this in mind she agreed to accompany Jack on his fund-raising
trip to Dallas, the only domestic trip she had undertaken
with him since his Presidency had begun.
Jackie
prepared as thoroughly as Jack for the trip, knowing she
was delivering a short speech in Spanish; she rehearsed
until she was flawless. Though both were aware that Texas
could be a hostile place to visit they looked forward
to the two days in the South. Throughout the trip Jack
paid much attention to Jackie and ensured that all efforts
were made to make her comfortable. Colleagues had never
seen the couple so comfortable together and found the
change in their relationship heart-warming.
The
future that they had anticipated together ended on the
afternoon of Friday November 22 1963 in a hail of bullets,
robbing Jackie of the man she had loved for the past twelve
years and whom she would continue to love until her own
death in May 1984. Despite his many failings as a husband,
Jack had been her soul mate and she would never truly
recover from his loss. Up until the end of her own life
she urged her children to live as he would have wished
and to emulate him in ways that would honour his memory.
She actively sought to enhance his image and memory and
paid close personal attention to the building and maintenance
of his presidential library in Boston. It is true to say
that although theirs was not a conventional love story,
and despite the sorrow and hardships they endured during
those turbulent years, each of them enhanced the other
and made them complete. The saddest part of all is that
they seemed to be finding their way just as their time
together was taken from them.
michelle
O may be contacted at http://www.thekennedyway.com
comments@thekennedyway.com.
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A fan of the kennedy family for years.The articles are
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is a tribute to John, Bobby and Jackie Kennedy. A monthly
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