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Manifesting your Ideal Relationsip for Gay Men - Defining your Reality (by Alan Fuller)

Category: Life:Lifestyles
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Before you can use any of the five steps to manifesting your ideal relationship, you're going to have to do some type of legwork. You have to define what it is that you are after, what it is that you really seek in a relationship. Whatever you call God, whether it be Divine Force, Life Force, Universe, Spirit, or Source of All That Is, conversing with that concept within yourself can help you begin to define what it is you truly desire out of your relationship. Do you really want him to buy you a brand new SUV, or do you simply want the feeling of extravagance that it will bring to you? In other words, do you want what you want because it's good for you, and it will enrich your life, or simply because you want to impress someone else with it? Is it to provide for your well-being on a mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual level, or simply to prove to others that you're okay? What other ways can you meet those emotional needs for yourself? Establishing what you want – for real, not just on a half-hearted whim – can pave the way to success for you with the manifestation principles.

You can dialogue with Spirit or your Sacred Self to discuss your motivation for any physical items, and to uncover reluctance on your part to committing to fully having what it will bring. Sometimes, hidden agendas, like unworthiness, fear, or jealousy of another, will be held in the subconscious mind. This, of course, will cause an block, both emotionally and spiritually, to fully having what you desire.

An intimate relationship is one thing. You can have the emotional intimacy right along with the physical intimacy, and it still might not be enough. And when that happens, there's something else to consider. Are you desiring a an emotionally and physically intimate relationship with your current partner? Or are you desiring a deeply connected partnership?

I had a best friend who provided me with all of the emotional intimacy I needed. We talked about everything. Nothing in either of our lives was held back. But I knew that I could never be physically intimate with him, no matter how hard he tried to make it so. There was just no way. I believe that a level had been reached that I couldn't bring myself to go beyond. That was the straw that broke the camel's back, as they say. I had to have a physically intimate relationship, but it wouldn't work with him, and I knew that. So I drew back from the friendship. Yes, we're still friends, and we're still emotionally close, but that's the limit that I refuse to go beyond. Meeting someone else and developing a close friendship with "the new guy" was my new goal. And I did that. Currently, this new "friend" and I have gone from meeting to dating, from dating to friends, from friends to "potentials," from "potentials" to exclusively dating, and from exclusively dating to "boyfriends." Physically, we're intimate. Emotionally, we have a bond there, but we're not quite yet, "in love," though both of us are leaning towards that direction more so than any other. Now, there's a semi-emotional and physical connection that I'm enjoying a lot. My blockage to this level of intimacy with my "new friend" was the emotional connection to I had my best friend. I had to back off some from that in order to clear the way for "the new guy" to come into the picture.

Surprised but considerably illuminated, I realized that I'd had a hidden agenda: my real goal was not to be in a relationship, but to be loved. And since I'd felt that I was already being "loved" by my best friend, there was no need for anything else. With my Sacred Self's assistance, I began to refocus my goal. It then became, not just to be loved, but to be loved by an emotionally and physically intimate partner (which I'm on the way to developing).

We must become aware of what it is we really want.

One way to do that is to make an "Ultimate Reality List," as I like to call it.

First of all, write down what it is you want that first comes to your head. Just make a list. No matter how far-fetched it might seem, jot it down. Then, go over it again, consolidating the duplications (because there probably will be plenty). My suggestion: start with 50 items, then consolidate. Rank each one in order of importance, 1 being most important, and the last number being least (everyone usually ends up with a different last number). Then, take your top 5 and embellish them with details. You may discover categories that they fall under when embellishing. When you do so, put their categories in the margin beside the number in parentheses. Then, re-number them in order of importance by category. This, then, is your "Ultimate Reality List."

I suggest to most of my Clients that they take a week for each one of their items, considering what lies at it's root. I want them to come back to me with an idea of what their motivation really is in obtaining that goal. Letting it digest in the subconscious mind for a week after asking your Sacred Self or Spirit that question can lead to your truly finding out what you desire.

Alan Fuller may be contacted at http://home.earthlink.net/~highestmind HighestMind@earthlink.net. Click here to view more of their articles.
Alan E Fuller is an author, speaker, and Highest Mind Facilitator. He works with people to integrate their heads and their hearts, and design and implement whole, balanced, joy-flooded lives of their own creation. Sign up for the Highest.Mind eGroup by sending an eMail to HighestMind-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

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