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Pen Pal Romance (by Skye Thomas)
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Life:Romance
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Pen
Pal Romance
We
have all heard the wonderfully romantic stories of pen
pals that wrote to each other for years without meeting
because they lived hundreds or even thousands of miles
apart. Some friend of a friend set them up as pen pals
or she decided to write to some unknown soldier away at
war. They exchanged a few pictures and spent countless
hours drafting letters back and forth, baring their hearts
and souls to each other. Without ever dating, they fell
in love. When one could eventually travel across the distance
to finally meet the other, they both knew immediately
that this was indeed the one they'd spend the rest of
their life with. The physical attraction was every bit
as strong as the emotional attraction they had felt for
each other. It's a classic story that's existed as long
as there's been a postal system for delivering the letters
between would be lovers.
Today
we have an Internet version of the same thing. People
go to these dating sites to find love. It seemed a bit
weird at first like most things that are new and different,
but eventually we became used to the idea. Is it really
any different than meeting in any other manner? You still
have to weed through the riffraff. You still have people
presenting themselves as something other than what they
really are. You still have crooks and cheats, predators.
And you still have honest real folks looking for true
love. You still have single parents worried that people
won't accept their kids as part of a package deal. You
still have married folks looking for a way to cheat on
their partners. The only real difference is how fast the
system works. You can weed through a heck of a lot of
less than desirable matches really fast and you don't
even have to waste time or money on dinner and movies,
or on babysitters and a new dress.
It's
my hope that you would take your time with the ones who
do seem promising. When you find a profile that seems
interesting, don't rush through the process. Sure, a lot
of people say that the eyes are the windows to the soul
and that you need to meet in person to get a real feel
for each other. And there is a lot of truth to that. Ultimately
you do have to meet in person to determine if there's
any type of chemistry between you or not. It's not something
that can be logically determined. You feel it or you don't
and you won't know until you meet them face to face. But
what about those old pen pal stories? They fell in love
without it being about sexual attraction. When we meet
face to face with someone that we are physically attracted
to, it's human nature to want to speed up the process
so that we can get to the really good stuff! I'm thinking
that if we took more time in the passing notes back and
forth portion before actually meeting face to face, then
we'd be more inclined to fall for the person inside rather
than for the physical beauty that can be so blinding to
the truth about people. We all know someone who's been
completely consumed by a hot passionate attraction for
someone who was so incredibly wrong for them. It takes
forever for them to open their eyes and see the sexy person
for what they really are. Please don't think that I'm
saying that all good looking people are bad relationships
waiting to happen. I just don't want you to confuse sexual
attraction with real intimacy.
If
you're just looking to get laid, then by all means disregard
this article! It's not written for you. If you're looking
to find that once in a lifetime incredible love, then
why not take the extra time to do it right? Why not agree
to write emails back and forth for a while before meeting
in person? Chances are you've already seen their picture
on the matchmaker's web site. Make up fun questionnaires
for each other to fill out. Ask them all sorts of interesting
questions about themselves like 'if you could invite four
people to dinner regardless of what time in history they
lived or died, who would it be and why?' Ask them what
their number one biggest regret is in life. Ask them what
their number one most embarrassing moment in life is.
Ask them what their number one best shining moment was.
Ask them if they felt loved as a child. Ask them if they
have felt loved as an adult. What is their next wild adventure
in life going to be? Have fun really getting to know each
other before you meet in person. Have a real bond based
on more than the fact that you both like moonlit walks
on the beach and want to someday have children. When you
do finally meet, you won't suffer those uncomfortable
silences either, you'll have shared laughs and have plenty
to talk about. You'll already be real friends.
So
many people put in their profiles that they only want
to meet people that are close to home, 50 miles, 100 miles,
etc. Why not reach out across the globe. Why not find
new pen pals to write to? Even if you never fall in love,
you've gained a new friend and the experience of feeling
connected to others. Who knows maybe your soulmate is
just across the ocean. Perhaps they're waiting for a note
from you in their inbox. Perhaps you'll become one of
those wonderful love stories worth telling your grandchildren
about. "Yep, your grandmother and I wrote back and
forth for a year before I finally saved up enough money
to fly over and meet her. And let me tell you, the first
time I laid eyes on her I knew that she was the only one
for me. She was well worth the wait!"
Copyright
2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
Skye
Thomas may be contacted at http://www.TomorrowsEdge.net
Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net.
Click here to view more of their articles.
Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet
leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer
in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics,
astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting.
Her books and articles have inspired people of all ages
and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness.
After years of high heels and business clothes, she is
currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. To
read more of her articles, sign up to receive her free
weekly newsletter, and get free previews of her books
go to http://www.TomorrowsEdge.net.
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