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Marital Depression & How to avoid it (by Alina
Ruigrok)
Category:
Home:Marriage
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Weddings
are considered the most special events that will take
place in anyone’s life. As true as that is, it is
also a fact that many people find themselves suffering
from marital depression soon after the wedding and honeymoon
takes place. Though this may be common, it is still something
the majority of people cannot understand or are even aware
of.
So
what is marital depression and what are the responsible
reasons behind it? Though marital depression can carry
many different reasons behind, there is one common reason
that almost every single person shares, and that reason
is disorganization. This means that most people do not
organize, as a couple, what will take place after the
wedding and honeymoon pass through. Both men and women
can suffer from marital depression, but it is more common
in women, for the reason that women become more deeply
involved in making their whole wedding experience “perfect”.
From the beginning of their relationship, women have a
tendency to start creating a fantasy world in their minds
of how they would like their lives to be with their partners.
It is a fantasy they plan out so detailed and carefully,
that it actually becomes a subconscious reality to them,
setting them for marital depression ahead.
When
most people think of marriage, they mostly think about
the type of wedding celebration they would like to have,
and where they would like to experience their honeymoon.
It usually stops here, which is why many disappointments
come to surface later. Even though a couple may have invested
many years together before deciding to take that big step
into marriage, it still requires a lot of planning, teamwork
and agreements on many things regarding how things will
be handled once they get settled into their new marriage
together. One fantasy you must get out of your head is
that your marriage will be like one big romantic date
where things will always run smoothly without any problems.
The truth is, as wonderful as marriage really can be;
it also carries its share of challenges and obstacles.
The truth is, whether you want to hear it or not, your
marriage will not be picture perfect all the time. There
will be times you and your spouse will disagree and find
yourselves facing a challenge you both feel can even be
impossible to get through.
Your
marriage may suffer from occasional problems, but it does
not need to end in marital depression or unsolved conflicts.
The key to maintaining a healthy yet realistic marriage
is to use direct communication before and after your wedding
takes place. Do not make the wedding ceremony and honeymoon
the most important priority to you. Instead of focusing
too much on the wedding and honeymoon, focus on preparing
your marriage. Together with your partner, discuss what
you will do once you come home from the honeymoon, and
what patterns you plan to follow and what your expectations
from marriage. This will avoid any misunderstandings or
unpleasant surprises down the road. It is also essential
to keep in mind, that maintaining the romance and sexual
department is just as important as it was before you got
married. Continue to go out on dates and plan special
activities together, as well as being occasionally spontaneous.
Accepting
that married life is not a fairytale book that takes its
own perfect course will keep you from getting marital
depression. Accept the fact that although you may be life
partners, you are still individuals who will think and
feel differently at times- and it does not mean that you
are incompatible, just human beings with your own beliefs
and personalities. Practicing is not a bad idea either.
For instance, create a situation where you feel things
are not going so great and where you feel things are not
picture perfect- and where you and your partner are disagreeing.
Once you have done that, come up with several methods
on how you could handle such situations if they were to
come to surface. By becoming familiar with conflicts ahead
of time and practicing how you would handle them, you
will prepare yourself with the knowledge and strength
on accepting the realities of marriages, and how to deal
with those realities when they come to you, so you can
live a healthy and depression-free marriage together.
Alina
Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert for http://www.love-sessions.com
helping those in need of dating, love, relationship, marital,
sexual and other personal advice through e-sessions.
Alina
Ruigrok may be contacted at http://www.love-sessions.com
info@love-sessions.com.
Click here to view more of their articles.
Alina Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert for
http://www.love-sessions.com
helping those in need of dating, love, relationship, marital,
sexual and other personal advice through e-sessions and
telephone.
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